Something Old, Something New

I am moving again..no no no, not home moving, just gonna move to a new blog. Since 2005 is just around the corner, maybe i need something new to start, something refreshing..:P

Anyway, the new blog is still underconstruction, but will finish very very soon. So what can i say today is this is my last blog before new year begins.

I came to new york on dec 26, 2003..one year after, i think i've learned not little from life. Some were good, some were bad but no matter how they were, life goes on.

So, what are my new year's resolutions? again, it's easy to make one but real hard to keep one. At least now i know one thing i am gonna do next year : become an NYU student. :P
Also, i need to change my shopping habit, i need to save more ( i am so bored listening to myself everytime i said " oh, i am so broke " ).
I will keep going to gym, i actually have set up my mind for healthier body and i want to lose 10 pounds ( reminder to self : current weight : 130.5lbs ) :P
They say that " new fat" is easy to get rid off, it's so true ! A year ago, i weighed around 130 lbs and put on 10 lbs ( not really sure, but people said i gained weights much ) , a year later, i am back to my first weight. The "old fat" that i am carrying right now will take alot of work to let them go...
But i do not want to go to gym just because i want to lose weights, it has to be fun. When you give too much pressure on yourself, you're more likely to fail. Am i correct ?

Every year during this time, i like to think what i have done this year, do i like my life so far , my failures, my successes,people that i met and places that I went. In the end, i can say i like them all, whenever i am abroad, i always have not-so-good life in the very first few months, but then all turned out good. I am happy being here, happy how my life has lead me so far ( well of course, there were some moments i felt down ). Overall, it has been a wonderful year.

So, i must wrap this all, and before i go, let me wish all my family and friends out there : Happy New Year ! May you have a wonderful year ahead !

Just Another Day..

Yesterday, as i was doing a favor for my uncle about some info on chinese language course in Xiamen University in China, i found my ex' picture on the website. He was pretty excellent that the univ asked him to become one of the role models. I just didn't expect to see his picture but i did feel nothing. Of course i had this old memories reappeared for a while, but afterall, it was a long time ago. We never really said goodbye to each other, we just make no effort of keep contacting each other..ah, what a memory !

Last night, got one call from Sanyon and Annie , they're worried about my family situation in Indonesia but i told them, my family are fine. So sweet !
I still couldn't believe this disaster could be this huge, dead bodies still rising up, when this will end ?

I am so lazy writing back to some friends at this moment, so forgive me if i reply late to everyone..:(

Time to think about new year's resolutions !

After Xmas

Another snowing day ! just too bad it didn't happen on xmas'eve or xmas' day..hoped it could be a white xmas..:( anyway, no matter how beautiful it is, it's just way too cold for me, poor my two feet..haha..

On xmas' eve, i left early from work and managed to go to Ferrara for a small size of milanese cake..every shop closed early that day, so i got to hurry and i still could get that cake after a long line. Yummy , yummy , yummy ! :P

Yesterday, me and mom went for shopping. I finally got a sweater from Jcrew and also a small tartan jane bag too! very lovely ! :P
Then we went to coach, this time i got the small signature bag, very cute ! Nah, this is my second expensive bag since i got here..hehe...love it! I spent a fortune yesterday !!

Spirit

AH, here comes the happy me again..:P this morning, got another call from Henry wishing me a merry xmas and we talked for 50 minutes !!, very long as it was an international call..hehe..also got surprising text messages from my big sis and ua for same thing. Now i really feel the xmas' spirit inside me..haha..

I got a call from Andy ( surprise surprise ! ) two nights ago. We hadn't talked for years especially since he came to usa for study. One time when he was back to Jakarta we met, since then we lost contact. So anyway, he made a short call but it was really nice. Afterall, we were all highschool's buddies..:P

So, at this very moment i am typing this journal, i actually still in the office which is really annoying me because everybody else is having holidays!! Now i have to wait until ( probably ) 3pm to get off..blah. If i could leave on time ( hopefully so, 'cause i still need to get my paycheck ), then i could still make it to city bakery to get some cakes and take a short windowshopping at macy's..:P *praying*

I remember two years ago i still made xmas' wishes, i think i am gonna make a new one tonight..:)

What Am I Missing ?

I think my days here are really lifeless. As i read my japan's journals again, i thought of how colorful my life was. Lots of traveling, more friends and definitely learned unique cultures, it was so lively ! Yes, i DO love america, i DO like variety of people here, I DO like how open-minded people are, etc..then what am i missing ??

I think the biggest problem is i have not enough friends, no close friends, no hang-out friends. I mean i do know some Indonesian friends but since all of us have no same off days, we hardly can hangout together, not to mention that i personally do not feel really like hangingout with my own people ( well, in this case, i think this is MY problem, huh ? )

A church is definitely not my thing, also forget about clubs and community activities, they are not appealed to me. I like going to bookstores and gym here, but mostly because i can read or exercise on my own. At gym, i usually do not approach other people or have a chitchat. I am very serious, just do what i have to do and leave.

But i miss girls'talks, i miss windowshoppings with gals, i miss phonecalls with friends. Yes, i still talk with my Indonesian friends...via IM or ICQ, but honestly i miss that face-to-face conversation.

OF course, now with SB, days are better. I talk to him almost everything. But then there were times i asked myself : " do i really like him or i just like being with him because he's the closest person i can talk to ?" So on certain days, i tested my own feeling and it turns out that i DO like him..:P
Because of his working hours, we usually hang out only on saturdays and that only for a few hours. We eat and go to bar, or sometimes do windowshopping and movies. I wanted to complain at the very first few months , but now i am so used to it that i started to think it is normal.
So far, i've met only one of his brothers and one of his good friends. I wish he could introduce me more to his surroundings..or is it too early to ask ? *sigh*

My relationship with my coworker is so fine that we joke all the time, sometimes we'd go for dinner or pizza. But i need more friends outside work ! Hope that once i start the course, i'll make more friends.

Am i just bored ?

Now, i'd better post something positve. Last week, me and ua talked about opening a small restaurant when i go back. At least now i have a future plan. First thing first is i need to save at least $15.000 for a start within a year. Hmm, this is really hard. In this case, i need a second job or other way is i need to stay for another year. I am pretty excited about our plan ( meaning i am about to make my dream comes true )..been telling myself i have to do good in my course..:P

The reason that i decided to make this future plan is because i never stay long in one place. Coming to america was my dream, and unless i get a better job and my relationship with SB ( or someone else ) is going somewhere, i'd go back for sure.
Only God knows what will happen.

White Morning

Last night, for the first time in this winter, snows falling down from sky. I woke up and found everything was whitely covered. They said it was almost 3" high. I tried to wait for a bus to get to subway, no luck..i had to walk and even though all my body was protected from cold, i got cold ears..haha..i don't like wearing hat, hate that flat hair..ahha..
PS : current weather is 11F..brrr...

Last weekend, my uncle and his family were here, and they stayed at our home. Crowded plus baby's crying. Tiffany is really really cute, especially when she's asleep, she likes to make faces ..haha..very cute.

I got a pair of boots yesterday, hehehe..love it ! but i am thinking about getting the other one which is more expensive but has more funky looks. Hmm..

I had a short but great times with SB last weekend, nothing to post..:P

A New Life Begins...

Today, at 12.35pm a new baby was born at New York Hospital Medical Center, Queens by caesarean, weighs almost 8 lbs. My second niece !! hehe...:P

I'll go to the hospital tonight to visit her and a lovely baby..dadadada..

To be continued...

Shop till You Drop

Nothing beats the spirit of holiday's shopping..haha..

Saturday at macy's was the crowded day of my life. SB and I went there to get presents for his nieces and nephews. The bracelets that he bought were 80% off !! and the watches were 20% off. Everything was so cheap ! I fell in love with his yellow band watch from Anne Klein, and after sale, it was only $45 ! I think i have to pay for $100 for a watch like that in jakarta..but in the end, i didn't buy it because i am still wearing my swatch..:P

Then on sunday, everything seemed to be out of control. I got 4 pieces presents for...myself! A jacket from buffalo, a sweater from xoxo and two sweaters from liz claiborne. I also liked this jeans from buffalo but it costs around $98, can't afford it now ..:(

Total we spent on sunday was $500, but we got 11 pieces of clothes ! Come to think of that, i don't think we had overspent..haha..:P

I guess the only santa that listened to my wish was none other than me..:P

A Wish List

I think i was being a good girl this year ( and still think i am ! ) and if the santa's stories are true, i hope he could hear me and stop by on chrismas' eve and give me what i want..haha..anyway, here is my wish list :
1. a pair of new sneakers
2. a multi-purpose bag
3. a peacoat from J. Crew
4. a warm sweater from J. Crew
5. a sherling tucker scarf from J.Crew

Hmm, i think i want more, just can't think them all right now..ahaha..

Mats called last night and we talked for 48 minutes. Sometimes when i think about it, it's just so funny that i could still be friends with someone who once broke my heart into pieces. Is it a true friendship ?

I am so into cycling class these days. The best thing about it is i could sweat like crazy, should have started it years before ! But, no matter how good i am in this class, i still have this huge fear if i have to cycle on roads. I used to ride it when i was little but then when i was in japan, i started to feel scared ( always had Henry riden with me ). I felt like i couldn't control it ( even when i sat on the back ). Sigh..:(

I am reading " Soul on Ice " by Eldridge Cleaver. It's about : the memoir that shocked, outraged and ultimately changed the way America looked at the civil rights movement and the black experience. Good reading , borrowed from SB again...:P

Just Comic 

Only In America

I am feeling so happy today. First, it's a really nice weather outside, up 15 degree from yesterday but still windy. I don't have to work full 9 hours today because this morning, my boss' partner picked me up and we went to DMV to get his ex-car's plate document reduplicated. Next, we went to JFK's cargo office to get his package but finally after being told that he has to pay $250 to get them, he decided not to retrieve the package.

Now, when we were at DMV and cargo office, i saw the christmas decoration there, so nice and so warm. Suddenly, i felt it's so warm inside my heart, perhaps because of this christmas' spirit. I was just thinking : " only in America i could see something like this".

Later on, on my way back to office, i suddenly had another happy feeling as i felt so at ease on train : nice weather and i was sipping a cup of coffee while reading " The Power of Now" that i borrowed from SB. I don't know why, i felt happy..:P

SB said : " you felt happy because of the christmas tree ? "..maybe it was..:)

Student Again

Just mailed out the registration form for Spring '05 course at NYU. So next febuary, i'll be taking a 12 weeks of " Foods and Beverages Operations" at Cooper Square. At first, i wanted to apply for "hotel operations " but then after some input from friends, i finally decided to apply for F&B. Actually i like both of them. I always want to work in hotel, i like the idea of meeting people, especially from different places so that i can practice different languages. I like that. As for F&B, it's one of my dreams to own a small coffee shop which serves bakeries and coffees. If i had enough money oneday, i am going to open one. Sometimes me an ua talked and planned about owning a small restaurant.
I don't know about the future, but i know taking a class right now is a beginning step, even if i don't end up owning a restaurant, i can still use the knowledge..:P

Going back to school again after so long does bring me some anxieties but not because i have no confidence in learning ( in fact, i think i am a pretty good learner ), i just have this feeling that i can't really explain why. Is it something to do with age ?

I think in no time i'll gain some extra weights since i started to eat rice at nights these days. Mom always cooks yummy foods, can't resist myself from adding some rice..ahha..meanwhile, i am back to gym track even tho i am still not be able to go there 6 times a week, but i am trying at least 4 times a week..:)

Misc

This year i have decided to write several christmas cards to my friends. I haven't done so in years, mostly because i was too lazy picking up and writing cards to them, not to mention since the era of internet began, it's much easier just to move your mouse and click a send button.
The reason is since i am living in America right now, i am going to do the american way. People celebrate christmas here, they buy gifts and send cards to relatives and friends. I don't celebrate christmas, but i did go to church on christmas' eve couple of times because my friends dragged me. For the last four years ( or more, i don't remember ), maybe i only sent e-cards to two/three persons. I used to do a lot tho, especially when i was in high school. Getting christmas cards always made me happy. I don't know since when i started to ignore this holiday season, but this year, i am going to a bookstore and buy some cards. I think maybe when you're away from your friends, you miss them more.
I am going to make a list of friends that i am going to send cards to, it's not going to be a long one, because honestly i will only send to those who are closest to me and been such good friends for such a long time.

I had a funny dream a few days ago. My leg was gnawed by a crocodile. When i said it's a funny dream, it was..because it wasn't scary at all, and funniest thing was the crocodile was sent by an Indian guy who had a crush on me but i rejected him..haha..crazy, huh ?
Talking about dream..it's said if you dream of a snake chasing you, that means somebody has a crush on you and if a snake is biting you , that means somebody is going to tell you he likes you or more intense is he's going to marry you.
I do believe in this one since i had two times dreaming of snakes chasing/biting me and not long after that, i got boyfriends..haha..weird but it was true. One time i even dreamt of another snake but Henry was holding it ( at that time i did have a crush on Ken ).. :P

Hmm..what else to write? when i first started writing this blog, i told myself that i'd write every detail of my life that is going to be a history one day and when i read them once again, all my memories would come back. But at certain point, i just can't put every emotion especially the one that concerns my relationship with someone into words and publish it online. Then again, how many of us really pour our heart and mind into personal blogs ? :P